Parenting… Unfortunately, none of my children received instructions for use or manuals. So parenting, how do you do that? man man man! Bringing my offspring into the world, which was certainly not without a struggle for me (understatement!), was a breeze compared to what comes at you over the years.
Because how do you raise that little blank tender soul into a beautiful person. While many environmental factors can influence the outcome and future of your mini-me, the most important task is primarily with you.
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That is a difficult question and I can only answer it from within myself. And then again, there is so much involved and every age brings different things with it. From day 1 you take care of your child. You take care of their health and stimulate their physical development and as soon as they start to realize more you teach them what is and is not allowed. You guide them in the big world that lies at their feet and needs to be discovered. "No, don't touch the plant. No, you can't eat that. No, you are not allowed to hit.” You encourage good behavior by complimenting them. What is and isn't good behavior is different for everyone. But it is learned, apart from behavior due to certain disorders.
Book:Topper, this book! From behind the wallpaper to over your ears
As they get older, they also become bolder and push their limits. As a parent, I think guarding those boundaries is the biggest challenge in parenting. They always say; small children small worries, big children big worries. My oldest is 7, so my challenges are yet to come 😉 . When I look at the worries I already have about her well-being, I think, gosh, how will that be then? The outside influences increase and it sometimes seems as if you have less control over it.
Still, I think we're doing well. In our way and with our standards and values. I think it is important that they are polite, help others, be honest and know what is right and wrong. The latter is of course very broad and yes, as a child things sometimes go wrong (also as an adult, by the way), but those are minor mistakes from which you learn.
But usually they know very well when something is not acceptable. Fortunately! Unfortunately, I sometimes see something else around me, which is at odds with what I want to teach my children. I find that difficult. You are not allowed to interfere in the education of another, at least that is usually not appreciated. In addition, I do not see that as my task, unless it affects my children, then I intervene. My standards and values are leading when it comes to my children. But yes, that's how the educators of mini-monsters see it too. However outrageous their child's behavior may be. I see it regularly and I am always amazed.
Sometimes I wonder where things go so terribly wrong. Like when I read a 9-year-old child pours boiling hot water over a peer, maimed for life. Or a bunch of 'tough' guys want to kick the light out of someone's eyes, use coarse language offline and online, with violence verbally and physically.
A while back, 3 toddlers, myself and my girlfriend, were beaten by a 3 to 4 year old girl in an indoor playground. Yes, really beaten! Both the crying toddlers and us were flabbergasted. I had to hold her arm to save everyone from more blows. Of course the crocodile tears came to her and she hastened to her mother. When I gestured to her mother in astonishment (holding up the plastic sledge with which she also hit) what had happened, she nodded amiably and comforted her child.
Really… I'm not saying that my children are angels, and they are allowed to bite the bullet, but that's where the big difference lies in upbringing and norms and values. There's the manual. My child would not (certainly at that age) think of hitting a child, let alone an adult like that. And did she? Then I at least find out what happened, and it turns out she misbehaved, an irrevocable apology follows from her mouth and an appropriate punishment. Anyway, who am I. Where's Nanny Jo Frost when you need them 😉 .
I'm not saying that everyone should have the same standards and values as I do. But it strikes me that it is very lacking nowadays. Dealing with each other in a decent way sometimes proves to be extremely difficult.
Raise. I will do everything I can to give my children at least the decency, respect and love that they deserve and this world needs. What you ?
