How do you get the biggest names in publishing, marketing and business to return your calls? How do you get them to join you for an intimate evening? How do you organize a private event with over 40 top journalists?
If you asked Sol Orwell, founder of Examine, he would tell you it comes down to one ingredient:cookies. Well, maybe two:cookies and a cause.
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On November 4, Sol Orwell and Tammy Tibbetts, CEO and Co-Founder of She's the First, welcomed a veritable who's who of influencers at the first annual NYC Charity Chocolate Chip Cookie Off. Notable attendees included bestselling author Seth Godin; personal finance guru Ramit Sethi; Nick Ganju, whose company ZocDoc was valued just south of $2 billion; Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck; and the king of food networking himself, Keith Ferrazzi.
Part media event, part philanthropy, the Cookie Off reveals two perfect ingredients not only for running your own networking event, but also for networking itself- same. And like any great recipe, what you leave out is often more important than what you put in.
Cookies:Networking is about the person, not who they know.
At first, cookies may seem like an odd centerpiece for a world-class network. But they serve as a metaphor. Take, for example, the presence of Seth Godin.
"Here's the truth," Sol told me, "I don't really know Seth Godin. Seth was there because his wife Hélène's bakery, By the Way Bakery, was competing with a gluten-free bread she's been perfecting for years. When I was chatting with Hélène, I never asked if her husband was coming. It wasn't about him; it was about her. It was about what she had done and how excited she was. If she brought, Seth…cool.
RAMIT SETHI, HELENE GODIN AND SETH GODIN. COURTESY STACEY NATAL
When I asked Brian Dean, the world's leading search engine optimization expert, why he made the trip from Berlin, his response echoed the same sentiments:“The was the 3,965 mile flight worth it? Absoutely. Do these people know more people than the average Joe? Probably. But that's not why I wanted to meet them. I didn't come all this way to meet Person X because they know Person Y. Instead, I traveled the world to meet funny, smart, positive people se . »
The temptation of networking is to constantly exchange upstream , to let our egos corrupt and ultimately ruin what would otherwise be a healthy relationship. One eye on the person in front of us, the other on who they know and what they can do. Such an attitude not only ruins individual relationships, but also any chance of who might come next.
Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone , tell me like this, “It’s about the person and being a high-quality person yourself. Game-changing relationships evolve through three phases:who you know and connect with, how you build a supportive community between them, and how you lift each other up to drive change. ”
Instead of looking for greener pastures, our focus should be who we talk to . Or, perhaps even better, all eyes on something beyond us…
Cause:Networking is about giving, not get.
When the big day arrived, more than 40 reporters from publications like Forbes , Entrepreneur , Fortune , Men's Health , Business Insider and SELF also happened. Naturally, they hadn't found their way to the party by accident; they had all been invited. But like the previous point, how they were invited holds the key.
"I wanted them to meet me and my friends and experience the positive impact we're trying to make," said explained Sol. “Of course, I was organized about it. I had a spreadsheet with their names, emails, social handles, and posts. But what I didn't do was say, "Hey, you should come cover this." ”
It’s a tough line to walk:balancing giving and receiving. Is it manipulative to hide our “true” intentions in networking and build a relationship on what some might call feigning? It all depends on your true intentions.
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At the heart of Cookie Off, there wasn't Sol, or any of the big names, or even cookies. It was more of a cause. She's the First is a New York-based nonprofit that is committed to sponsoring "girls who will be the first in their families to graduate from high school," primarily in low-income countries in the beyond the West.
As an immigrant himself, associating with She's the First was, in Sol's words, "a no-brainer." And handing over a check for $30,000 stands out even more than Milk and Cookies Bakery's dark chocolate chip crunch (which won the event's most interesting cookie award).
AJIT GEORGE, DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS OF THE SHANTI BHAVAN CHILDREN PROJECT; TAMMY TIBBETTS, CO-FOUNDER OF SHE IS THE FIRST; AND THREE OF NETFLIX'S DESTINY GIRLS STARS. COURTESY STACEY NATAL
After the event, Dorie Clark, author of Entrepreneurial You and long-time contributor to Harvard Business Review , told me, “I recommend people wait at least a year before asking for favors. It's so important to establish yourself as a giver rather than a networking leech. Similarly, Troy Osnioff noted, “It was remarkable to see everyone rallying around Tammy and especially the girls; suddenly all of our conversations took on a sense of seriousness.
That doesn't mean networking a revolve around a charity. But it does mean relationships are best built and nurtured on causes bigger than just us. .
"True friends," wrote C.S. Lewis, "don't spend time looking each other in the eye. They may show great tenderness towards each other, but they are facing in the same direction – towards common projects [and] goals.
Networking isn't your business.
Truths about networking are counter-intuitive, but powerful.
“I built my network by giving,” says networking expert Leonard Kim. personal branding. “When I started writing, my only intention was to make sure that others would never have to go through the hardships I experienced. Sol's philosophy of giving has led to a real shift in philanthropic missions and a sense of community within its network. »
Still, it never hurts to serve something sweet as well.
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