“Take control of your life. "
"Let go of what you can't control. ”
Two extremely wise and simple maxims underlie the teachings of today's business and spiritual leaders. Follow these rules, they say, and you'll start winning. But these “totally zen” statements are rarely accompanied by an instruction manual on when to use light touch versus an iron fist.
Before you start weeks of fidgeting that leaves you with a luxurious graveyard tan…
Before you write your worries down on little strips of paper to burn in a ceremonial beach fire at dawn…
Ask yourself a question:Is it under my control?
Related: Why self-control is so important
Ask these seven questions to determine whether to fight it or forget it.
1. The Sniff Test:Is There a Chance?
Just start and ask:
Is there any chance I can achieve this?
Do I have or can I find the necessary resources?
Does success depend on someone else, and if so, can I influence it?
Former General Electric superstar CEO Jack Welch took this stagnant juggernaut and boosted its value by 4,000%. He attributes this success to seeing the truth in all situations. "Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wanted it to be," Welch says.
Once we've asked the obvious questions, dive deeper.
"Amazing change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power instead of wanting to control what you don't have. —Steve Maraboli
2. Do I want it badly enough?
If the answer is no, don't waste your time. Tony Robbins teaches that 80% of results are psychological (our Why ), and only 20% are mechanics (the How ). If you can inspire yourself to take action, How will take care of himself.
When budding entrepreneurs call on his show, Gary Vaynerchuk likes to challenge them with their hunger. "How badly do you want it?" is usually his first question as it's a litmus test for likely success.
Sure, he has the bedside manner of a cactus, but you have to give him credit:he stands to his own standards. Several years ago, Gary failed to convince Ben Silbermann to let him invest in Pinterest, which still stings financially. The reason he failed? "I just didn't want it to be bad enough. »
If you're hungry, go hunting. Otherwise, forget it.
3. What are my emotions telling me?
Think about the decision to be made. What emotions arise? Do I feel unhappy or empowered? There are no negative emotions. Both good and bad are messengers, and they tell you to fight for it or forget it.
Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck , says, "If you're miserable in your current situation, chances are it's because you feel like some part of it is out of your control." »
Ah! Misery could just be a message that something is out of your control. You now have two options:withdraw from the situation or give up trying to control it.
4. Am I attached to the outcome or do I love the process?
One woman fills her thoughts with making her first million, the other with making 50 sales calls every day and being there to enjoy the conversations.
The first draws her attention to an outcome she cannot directly control, the other where she can:her actions. Who succeeds? (Yes, that's rhetorical.)
Why is Nick Saban considered one of the greatest football managers of all time? Yes, because he led his teams to a series of league victories, but how did he do it? Instead of asking his team to focus on the outcome (winning), he asked them to focus on the process:drills, attitude and fundamentals.
"You can't worry about the end results", explains Saban. "It's about what you control, every minute of every day. »
What are you focusing on?
5. What is my attitude?
And if I adjust it, will it affect the outcome? Attitude is a rare example of something that is always 100% in your control.
If you think this attitude is a liberal bunk with no place in the “real world”, consider Marcus Aurelius. One of the most powerful men in history, Emperor of Rome for 20 years, and someone who knew something about worldly matters, wrote:
“You have power over your mind, not on external events. Know this and you will have strength. »
Negativity, despair, hate, excuses…every ounce of energy wasted in this mode is an ounce stolen to get the job done.
“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. —Zig Ziglar
6. How do I spend my time?
By extension, what do I think and talk most of the time? Are you focused on the economy, politics or the behavior of your competitors? Or have you ditched Facebook's clever rants in favor of what's in your power, like reading a brilliant business biography or polishing your resume?
Kodak's dramatic demise is the result of its time spent working on things beyond his control:supporting a dying print and paper photography industry. Kodak invented the digital camera in 1975 and conducted a study in the 1980s that digital would one day destroy film. It invested in digital, but as a way to get more people to print photos.
The company spent its time working with outdated technology and predictably rendered itself obsolete.
"We become what we think about most of the time." —Earl Nightingale
Sept. Did I do my best?
This last question invites us to do two things:
Unleash massive action on the world.
Stop expecting that hard work will always lead to victory (it doesn't).
We can have full control over our work ethic, so decide what you want to accomplish, then scramble to make it a reality.
If we're still failing, we'll know the cause was probably beyond our control. You can then save the energy that might have gone into the self-flagellation for the next hustle.
Seth Godin's mantra is, "This might not work." The subtext here is that wise men approach their work understanding that it is impossible to control the results, and waste no time worrying about failure.
Be good at identifying the issues that come in in the category of tin cans and cannot control them. You'll do more and take a lot of zen with you.
Related: How I learned to let go
