It goes by many names:the hustle, the grind, it's all done. Entrepreneurs wear their long working hours, dark under-eye circles, and stress-induced weight swings like badges of honor. We admire those people, who sacrifice things like weekends and a good night's sleep, like the dedicated few willing to do whatever it takes to achieve greatness. They seem almost superhuman, eternally ready to be the first in and the last out. But time and time again, it's the personal relationships, self-care, and play—all of which have been shown to be necessary for a healthy, balanced life—that are the price of those accomplishments.
Related: 7 Signs You're Addicted to Ambition
What might sound like an admirable work ethic can go by another name:the workaholic. And while the research hasn't been around that long, most experts agree that between 10-25% of American adults qualify.
A flimsy definition
Workaholism is not listed as a mental illness in the DSM-5. It is difficult to define and even more difficult to diagnose. The term itself wasn't coined until the late 1960s by Wayne Oates, a psychologist and self-diagnosed workaholic. Workaholic, as Oates defines it, is “the uncontrollable compulsion or urge to work non-stop.”
Defining a workaholic to someone with an incredible work ethic – say, a dedicated entrepreneur trying to launch his first business – isn't easy. Most experts agree that it has to do with your mindset towards work. An entrepreneur often has to log long hours in the early stages of her business, but if she's able to detach herself and apply the same dedication to relaxation time, she probably doesn't experience the symptoms of a workaholic at all. long term. Conversely, the entrepreneur who puts in long hours and always feels guilty for not getting more done, who obsessively checks work email and often discusses work in casual conversation, might need to throw a second glance.
An entrepreneur often has to log long hours in the early stages of her business, but if she's able to detach herself and apply the same dedication to relaxation time, she probably doesn't experience the symptoms of a workaholic at all. long term.
The Consequences
However defined, the results of an obsession with unhealthy work have some pretty serious long-term consequences. Poor sleep, digestive problems and memory problems, excessive alcohol consumption and risks of type 2 diabetes are all commonly cited side effects. The workaholic often manifests in those who struggle to find self-fulfillment and rest their egos on a shaky foundation of social and peer approval. Struggling to delegate as leaders, they often come to believe that they are not only the best for the task, but the only ones.
Although the work-obsessed may appear to be the most productive of a group, a growing body of research also shows that placing prolonged levels of stress on the brain and body leads to decreased levels of productivity over time. Those who work around and under overrun can feel incompetent, and possibly resentful, leading to an unhealthy and even toxic work environment. The workaholic becomes a victim of their own making, a subject of admiration and sympathy.
Dealing with the workaholic
If you find it difficult to welcome and take advantage of opportunities for recharging; If you dream of working while on vacation and you spend countless sleepless nights obsessing over minor work-related issues, you may need to do a self-assessment and consider some serious changes.
1. Do a self-assessment. Scan your brain and body for signs of exhaustion and deprivation. If you're having trouble, contact a trusted friend or relative. He could be better equipped to make an unbiased assessment.
2. Talk to your partner. The workaholic doubles the risk of divorce. If you both see a problem, sit down with your loved one to address any unmet needs. Chart what a good work-life balance looks like and compare it to yours.
3. Record the times when you think obsessively about work. Keep track especially during scheduled downtime. Consider seeking professional help to resolve any underlying issues that may be contributing to your impulsive work habits. Also consider joining an established support group, such as Workaholics Anonymous.
4. Store your phone and laptop at home. If your type of work does not allow long periods of disconnection, set aside times when you will not be disturbed. If needed, enlist a colleague or employee to answer calls and emails during these times.
5. Write down your moments of gratitude without work. For example, when you can attend your child's school games or spend a weekend at the lake with friends.
Related: How to leave work at the door
Marina Byezhanova
Co-Founder and Director of Pronexia, Inc.; Montreal
As someone who works hard but also strives to be a great parent, I carry a lot of guilt. When I'm at home, I feel guilty for not working; when I work, I feel guilty for not being at home. My strategy is to constantly work on my inner peace so that I can focus on the task at hand and disconnect when needed.
We all define balance in our own unique and personal way. For me, balance means not being able to get into just one thing. I was able to grow my business to over $1 million in revenue by year four, but had to accept that I couldn't achieve 10 times that while being a present and dedicated parent of two children. . I'm a great parent, but I don't have time to volunteer at my daughter's school every week or cook for the biannual bake sale like many other moms do. Balance comes in the form of working 75-hour weeks, but turning off all devices and focusing on family on the weekends. We all have our own structure. Accept that, own it, and stop feeling guilty about defining your own paths to success and happiness.
Carisa Miklusak
CEO and President of tilr; New York City
When I was about 20, I won a sales contest and got to spend an afternoon with Jack Welch. He told me that he doesn't believe in work-life balance, but rather in work-life choices. It stuck with me and still resonates today. Ensuring you choose to work hard, and not a habitual slave out of habit or lack of another pattern, is what defines a workaholic from a hard worker or a healthy overachiever. br />There is a trade-off when you choose to prioritize anything in life. When I'm stuck between a professional event and a personal event, I often use a simple technique to explore how I feel about missing both events. I'm stepping into the future and I'm going to tell the story backwards, like I didn't go to the event. If it's an easy story to tell, it's an event you can probably miss. If you can't tell the story with a good ending, then it should take precedence.
Stop looking for the traditional definition of balance and start making more choices about what you're going to do with your time at work and what you are going to do with your time off work. The key is to be intentional and in control of your schedule rather than being carried away.
Thomas Nguyen
Co-Founder and CEO of Peli Peli Restaurant Group; Houston
I love what I do, and being in the restaurant industry, it's hard for us to ever really turn off. But if I don't manage my work time well, it can have a negative effect on my personal life and my relationship with my wife. At the end of the day, we have little time together. If you want a fruitful work and a personal life, you must make efforts to give quality time to both. It is not easy. My wife likes to sleep in on the weekends and enjoys our meals together. So I wake up early to work, take care of other personal items, and get up late when she falls asleep. I do my best to come home to have dinner together and then work afterwards. You have to figure out what your partner needs most, then work around their schedule.
If you want to have your cake and eat it too, you have to make sacrifices and create a schedule that allows you to be effective as a as an entrepreneur and to be there for the important moments in your personal life. None of us are getting any younger and you cannot recreate the personal time you spend with your loved ones. As an entrepreneur, we don't have a schedule per se, so we should have no problem finding time for work and play.
Related: Are you a workaholic?
This article originally appeared in the Winter 2018 issue of LadiesBelle I/O magazine.
