How to become a great public speaker (without stress)

We've all heard that famous statistic, the one that claims people's first fear is public speaking, second is death. Seinfeld had a joke about this stat, he apparently said that if people were attending a funeral they would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. If this stat is accepted as fact, Seinfeld's joke, while ridiculous, would be technically correct. What's wrong with this scenario?

Do people really rather be dead than speak in public? Why? Well, I'm here to tell you that public speaking is nothing to fear; I do it all the time. Like most things in life, the more you speak in public, the less nervous you become when doing so. Unfortunately, most people choose to avoid giving speeches so vehemently that they will never do it enough to feel comfortable with it.

So for all those people who shun public speaking like, well, death, I'm here to tell you how to get through any public speaking commitment and come out the other end like a successful public speaker. , with as little stress as possible.

• Admit you're nervous

  It's part of connecting with the audience. When you admit your nervousness, you expose your humanity on a personal level to the public and they will empathize. They are just as afraid of public speaking as you are. When you admit your nervousness, the elephant in the room has been directly addressed and neutralized.

Admitting that you are nervous also relieves tension within you. This allows you to eliminate this obvious obstacle right from the start. You can also move on to our next point by admitting that you are nervous, which is to say…

• Telling a joke
  This seems like one of the older clichés, but in my experience, it works. I absolutely recommend telling a self-deprecating joke. If you're giving a work presentation, admit how nervous you are as noted above, then be sure to thank the makers of Pepto Bismal for helping calm your stomach before your presentation. "You may be able to see the pink film on my teeth" you might say. It's sure to make you laugh.

Once the joke is told and a laugh is shared between you and the audience, even more tension is released and your confidence will start to build. You've already scored with your joke, so they'll probably enjoy the rest of your public speaking.

• Tell a personal story
  This is another key way to connect with the audience. If you are giving a eulogy, tell a story about yourself and the deceased. If you're giving a work presentation, tell a story about your early days at the company. Personal connection with the audience is key to keeping their attention and impacting your public speaking engagement.

• Talk to one person at a time
  It is much easier to talk to one person than to a whole group of people. If that weren't true, no one would be afraid to speak in public. You'll calm your nerves and be a much more effective speaker if you talk to one person at a time, for a few seconds each. When you've talked to one person, make eye contact, you move on to another person, and so on.

By talking to one person at a time, you have neutralized the overwhelming fear of looking at faces that are formed on you and every word you say. When you narrow that crowd down to one person at a time, all of a sudden your public speaking becomes much more manageable.

Another reason to talk to one person at a time is to connect with the audience and knock your public speaking engagement out of the park. One of the keys to successful public speaking is connecting with the audience. When you make eye contact with individual audience members, you connect with them and make them feel like you're talking to them directly. During that time when you are talking and making eye contact with that person, that is exactly what you are doing, talking to that person individually.

• Be Honest
  When you're sincere and honest, people can tell. This creates a bond between you and the audience which makes your presentation much more authentic and impactful. If you give a presentation for work and later open it for questions and answers, you might get a question you don't know the answer to. Don't hem and haw and make up an answer; admit you don't know the answer and open the floor to someone else. If no one can help you, make sure you research the question and answer it as soon as possible.

Being honest is one method that allows you to be a more effective presenter. It also relieves a lot of nerves that people artificially impose on themselves. If you're ready to give a talk for work and you think you need to know the answers to every question every person asks in relation to your presentation, you're going to be a lot more stressed than if you just walk into the situation knowing you may not know all the answers imaginable, and that's fine.

People understand that you are a human being, not a traveling database for every possible scenario related to your topic. When you relieve the burden of knowing everything about yourself, you relieve a huge burden of stress from your public speaking baggage.

Written on 12/22/2008 by Mike S. Mike writes about the personal development of intellectual thinkers on his site Web mikesalara.com.Photo credit:Sheilaellen