Strange as it may seem, I recently had the honor of being a guest judge for a regional Miss Teen beauty pageant.
It was my first experience in the ceremonial world, so I had committed to doing my work from home.
I sat down to watch a few episodes of Toddlers &Tiaras and was completely blown away. I had no idea this industry was so huge and, more importantly, so cutthroat.
I have to admit, I was looking forward to getting into the airport hotel where the festivities were taking place. Throughout the two days of competition, I certainly laughed and sighed, and most importantly, I saw important lessons.
First let me congratulate the families who travel, support and work to help their children compete in such a tough competition. These children, some as young as 6, sit for hours, practicing and perfecting their craft with only the hope of advancing to the next level. I noticed early on the tremendous dedication it takes to get through it. I had the task of sitting with a panel of three other judges for older teenagers. With poise and precision, these young women entered the room with the intention of impressing us. For the most part, they did. And after almost four straight hours, here's what I gleaned:
• It costs chasing your dream:The first thing that became apparent to me watching these hopeful little ladies parade through the conference center was that someone paid a great price to have them there. . Some sought sponsorship; others had entire families sacrificed to allow them to compete. And contests don't come cheap! Consider dresses, travel, lodging, food, and anything else that goes with the territory. We are talking about several thousand dollars. Whatever you do, know this; your dream is expensive. You have to enjoy doing it. You get out of life for what you pay.
• Know who you are before you start the competition:one after another, these girls entered the judges' room. Some were shaking, others had a fake smile on their faces, and others seemed to be comfortable in their own skin. What I noticed was those who were comfortable, who made it to the final round. It wasn't just the looks; it was what I call the X-Factor. That “thing” that makes a person interesting is really their ability to be comfortable with who they are. Without it, you're dead in the water.
• We all want to win:Life has kind of perpetuated a lie that it's just as much fun to be nominated as it is to win. False! No one is looking for second place. No one feels absolutely fulfilled as a finalist. We have inscribed in our DNA an ideology that seeks to win. We were born with it. Unfortunately for the girls, there had to be winners and losers. I saw a couple walk off stage in frustration when their number wasn't called. Others expressed their anger. And for them, I had respect. It's disappointing to go this far and lose. I don't agree with how they chose to express their disappointment, but I certainly understand.
• When it's your turn, shine bright:At the center of the evening, the girls had the opportunity to show why they deserved the crown. They walked; answered questions and show their general charm. This is where scoring got tough, and those who could show some personality ended up in the final. Some for whom I had high hopes did not succeed in this category. They just didn't show us. If I remember correctly, the two finalists were girls with a look not very different from the others. The difference was their shine. Life responds to individuals who have the courage to be their most authentic selves in every situation.
Turns out, judging a teen pageant can wear you out. It was tough looking at all those faces and having to decide who should win. What I realized was how much it reflects real life. Every day we go out and try to achieve our dreams while others sit around and judge our performance. But in life, we, not the judges, determine the outcome of our lives.
Competitions are full of stress and waiting to see if you made it. But for those who win, it's like a dream come true. You and I don't have to enter a contest to realize how great we really are. All we have to do is look at ourselves in the mirror.
See you at the TOP!
Early Jackson
Another important lesson is that perfectionism isn't always the most important thing to achieve. In fact, sometimes the pursuit of perfection can hold you back. This article will show you how to Focus on achieving your goals and conquer your need for perfection using the completionist mindset.
Photo credit :Tim Kretsshmann
