Peace of mind is a great thing! I experienced myself that chaos in your head can lead to overstrain, six months after the birth of my son. In addition to being the perfect motherhood, husband and housewife, I also wanted to maintain my career, of course. That went wrong and I was disabled for a long time. This way you see that peace of mind is really important. I didn't understand it, I was always so strong and tough. I was convinced that I was making my own choices. Upon further analysis, I discovered that I was still influenced by my environment when making decisions. That I was mainly guided by all kinds of unfruitful thoughts, judgments and hidden fears.
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Many of the norms and views that were instilled in me at the time of my childhood hindered me rather than helped me. Do you recognize that? You think you are doing everything neatly as you have learned, but in the meantime chaos arises in your head because you can no longer handle it in your current situation. So it's high time to clear your head and get some peace of mind! A tidy mind is like a tidy house. You get peace and overview by saying goodbye to thoughts and feelings that no longer help you, you sort what you want to keep and give everything a place.
Why do we have so much on our minds these days? Our mothers often had more children than we do now and fewer devices to take over time-consuming tasks from them such as washing machines, vacuum cleaners or dishwashers. There were no supermarkets yet where they could do all their shopping in one go and they did a lot by bicycle. So you would think that we have it easier today.
Yet I compare the life of a working woman with a family, family, taking care of the household and an active social life with top sport! It is quite an art to keep all the balls high every day, to remain stable and therefore to have peace of mind. It's a shaky balance to keep all these balls in the air. That balance can be quickly disrupted, as a result of which you lose the overview, no longer have a grip on the situation and the tension threatens to become too much for you.
Who does not know the panic when it turns out in the morning that one of the children is sick and cannot go to school or to daycare. You have an important meeting that you need to attend and your partner is on course all day. Before you know it, you're arguing about priorities, about which job is more important, or about which auxiliaries can be called in. Tensions and quickly come up with something; you are teetering on the edge. How do you deal with this, how do you survive?
Do you want to know if you are still in balance? Then complete this balance test (derived from Heart at work by Carien Karsten) and then view the result of your score. Give a point for each statement that applied to you in the past 2 months. If a statement sometimes but not always applies, tick it too.
0 – 3You are well balanced. Pay particular attention to maintaining your balance and energy management.
4 – 6 There is a chance that you will be out of balance and that you will lose your peace of mind if you do not take measures.
7 -10Your energy balance is already disturbed. Start taking good care of yourself today.
11-16 Crisis! It is wise to seek help from an expert in the field of stress and burnout. Prevent worse and work on building your energy level first. Try to keep moving and find your peace in relaxation exercises, meditation or mindfulness.
And how are you doing? Could you use some help to make space for yourself and create peace of mind.
Not setting boundaries is an important cause of overstrain and burnout. No is also an answer. Practice setting boundaries and saying no. See what effect that has on yourself and the other.
Many of our feelings of stress are caused by all our thoughts and attitudes. Focus on the facts and the situation as it is and try not to attach anything to it (if it's a mosquito, don't make it an elephant). Learn how to regulate emotions and express them better before the bomb explodes. Clear communication helps with this. Examine your fears and learn how to deal with them better.
Did you know that 95 percent of our behavior is unconscious? So most of the choices you make every day also happen subconsciously. You do things the way you've always done them, often motivated by the idea that it's the way it should be! Who decides what is good for you? You or your environment? Decide what you want to achieve in your life, choose your priorities and don't be distracted by others.
Family expansion, divorce, loss of a loved one and health problems are examples of life events that cause you to become temporarily out of balance. Take the time to find your balance again and to live through loss (say goodbye to something you were attached to).
Your thinking patterns are often already formed in childhood and are supplemented during the rest of your life. Because you yourself change in the different phases of life that you go through, it is good to also adjust the ideas and views that determine your thinking patterns. The norms that may have helped you as a child may be more likely to get you into trouble than help you in your current life. For example:don't be rude to grown-ups, don't get angry, always help the other person, et cetera.
It is better to stand up for yourself and learn how to express anger to the other person in a good way. Of course it's nice if you can help someone else, but that doesn't have to be at the expense of peace of mind. Feel free to let go of those old patterns because if you try to put on your old children's clothes as an adult, you will find that they no longer fit you and become trapped.
Plan enough rest and relaxation after exercise and get enough sleep. Exercise and healthy food help you maintain your energy balance!
tip:Do you want to know more about how you can make space for yourself? Then read the book A tidy mind in 7 steps by Jolanda. It is easy to read and well-arranged, exactly as it should be in your head 😉 .
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*image used via Shutterstock
