Research carried out by the Social and Cultural Planning Office shows that men and women have almost the same amount of free time, but that the different sexes experience this clearly differently.
AMEN. I thought just reading this first part. Exactly something I've been running into lately. I'm a real planner (in most cases). Planning works for me in any case the best, if I organize everything well and therefore am prepared, then half the work is done and therefore I experience less pressure.
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That means I also plan in my spare time. Because admit it, with children at home, free time is not real more free time right? You are partly livedand maybe we also have too much of ourselves?
When they are still small like me, you plan the groceries between the bottles. And you try to cram a visit to the consultation office just before a nap. But even when they are older it will be a whole plan. If I only hear about the football or ballet lessons and the pick-up and drop… it is already clear that you will not get there without plans.
Although women have the same amount of free time as men in terms of hours, it is not experienced that way. Men have the gift of being able to think of nothing at all. That is really unthinkable for me!
Over a quiet (planned) cup of tea in the evening, I already make a shopping list for the next day. The children are sleeping so I have plenty of time for that. Before I go to bed I prepare a tower of baby milk powder for the next morning and in bed I quickly check the weather for the next day and already think about what to wear.
Well, the main difference appears to be in the feelings that play a part in women. They often feel that they are falling short and they think/feel/find that they are not good enough. See here the associated pressure to perform. This causes stress that is also present in the available free time, making it less successful for women to really relax. Everything just goes on in the head. Do you recognize that?
Maybe it's because we women are so much better at multitasking. Or that we want to prove that by taking on so much at the same time? Look at me! Look what I can do 😉 . To then meet yourself, because we are all so tired again and we were so busy today.
Speaking for myself, I also know that I have a great sense of responsibility. That can also possibly ensure that I cause the pressure and stress myself. I want everything to be done, especially towards the children and the well-being of the whole family. House to hand, groceries in the fridge, food on the table, clean, ironed clothes in the closet and everything clean and well before we end the day. Taking a little too much on your fork can therefore ensure that you continue to feel that stress or pressure.
Now you can of course allocate all the tasks equally, but that has not quite worked out at my house (I think 😉 ). Also because I work part-time and my boyfriend is a full-timer, I often feel that I have to take care of everything around the household and the children. Recognizable? If you work less, there is always enough 'work' waiting at home, right?
That reminds me of another piece I recently read about a study by the Vrije Universiteit Brussel. Women who work part-time experience more time pressure than full-timers † As bad as it sounds, in the end it turns out that the man benefits more than the woman. People often think:if you don't work full-time, you might as well do all the ironing and cleaning, take care of the children and make the food.
But it's different for women, isn't it? In addition to a job (full or part-time), we are continuously busy with the household.
I'm curious how you experience this. And of course your tips and tricks! I've finished my cup of tea now, I've already figured out that I'm going to do some shopping, make food, then pick up my children and then bathe and cuddle them. Then of course clear the dining table, vacuum and mop under GTST, and maybe tomorrow I can…. let go of everything?
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