Negotiating can be intimidating. It's true that you're a CEO looking to make a deal that could take your Fortune 500 companies at the next level, a junior regional manager at that same company looking for a raise, or a YouEconomy member trying to increase their profit margins.
Running a company often means switching between standing firm behind the value of your time and skills and the potential cost of losing a customer. Sometimes the stakes are high, but often they are bigger in our heads.
So why don't we ask for more money more often?
Related: How to Ask for (and Get) More Money
In a study of 78 graduate students, Linda Babcock, co-author of Women Don't Ask:Negotiation and the Gender Divide , found that 12.5% of women negotiated their starting salary, compared to 52% of men. The reason:Women are often afraid of damaging the relationship or being perceived as too aggressive. In his bestselling book Supported , Sheryl Sandberg cited research that found women who negotiated for higher salaries were seen as “harder to work with” — a sign, Sandberg noted, of society's stubbornness to adhere to traditional stereotypes. br />A 2014 study of 4,600 employees in Australia found that the issue is not whether women ask for raises, but that they are 25% less likely to receive them. Additionally, 15% of participants, both men and women, said they were hesitant to ask for a raise for fear of disrupting the relationship.
In her new book, So She Said , Joanne Lipman suggests that the unpopular truth is that women are simply different. Women often don't know their worth and tend to underestimate themselves. When they realize their worth, they are often seen as bossy and uncompromising.
“Men and women are wired differently,” writes Lipman. “And in a way, women are programmed from birth to value their personal contributions less.”
Related: 6 Steps to Negotiating the Salary You Really Deserve
So does the answer lie in societal constructs, personal fears, or genetic predispositions? As with most complex issues, the reason for this is likely a combination of several factors. For you, this means taking action against the factors you can control. Whether you're negotiating your first salary or working on contract renewals with 40 different vendors, knowing when and how to negotiate for more money is invaluable. Here are some tips to get you started.
1. Wipe the slate clean.
Don't start your money negotiations based on past numbers. Often your previous salary or negotiation amount did not match the service rendered, and this is not always an indicator of what you should be receiving now.
2. Be prepared.
This is not the time for a spontaneous conversation. Schedule a meeting far enough in advance to give you plenty of time to prepare, which includes gathering evidence to support your claim. This may include measurable accomplishments and letters of recommendation from supervisors, colleagues and clients.
3. Take ownership.
Exude confidence in your abilities. If you landed a huge client last year, don't say "we." Likewise, avoid qualifier language that minimizes your accomplishments. You didn't land just 16 new customers and only increase efficiency by about 5%.
4. Imagine a positive outcome.
What you think matters. What you tell yourself is important. Before your negotiation, create a mental scenario. Imagine what you're wearing, where you're sitting, and what you'll say. Imagine the potential answers and how you will approach them. But most importantly, imagine yourself succeeding. You can help do that by putting your winnings in ink. In the present, write down your successful negotiation. For example, “I earn 12% more than when I started in this company a year ago.” Writing in the present tense signals your brain that the goal is set, and you will naturally begin to focus on ways to achieve that goal.
Related: 5 Things All Successful Negotiators Know
Our case studies feature business owners who have succeeded and failed in negotiations and continue to perfect the art every day:
Sarah Frey
CEO and Founder of Frey Farms; St. Louis.
I always had to ask for more money. The cost of doing business rarely goes down; it always goes up. When I was 8, my mother said we had to raise the price of melons, and I did. I walked into the product department and looked around. They were almost out of cantaloupes, so I took advantage of the moment. I told the product manager that our melons were really fresh and worth paying the extra. Then I suggested that he not only pay more, but also buy a few so he doesn't run out. I failed to do what I wanted. Instead, I did what the client needed.
At a very young age, I felt the need to show my independence and prove that I could turn this small family farm into a business. I was often the only woman in the room full of businessmen. I didn't have a college degree at the time. I had not worked for a big company. I was incredibly young. Additionally, I was committed to building my agribusiness in a sustainable way, which was an innovative way of thinking.
I am a risk taker at heart, sometimes to my detriment. Be bold, brave and take risks. Stand up for what you believe in and show good behavior in others around you. First you have to defend yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for more money, but do it at the right time and in a way that meets the other person's needs.
Maria Avgitidis
CEO of Agape Match; New York City
A typical matchmaking program for our clients, who are all single, starts at $25,000, and a key part of negotiating in high-end services is differentiating between value versus value.
Worth the range it costs me to serve my client. Value can also mean my client's affordability. Value is the strengths and contributions I bring to my business that attract the kind of people my clients want to this day. The value may also be my client's need to meet someone to achieve their relationship goals. These elements are important in the negotiation discussion. I spend most of my time with a client making our negotiation conversation value-driven.
Managing expectations from the start is key to any successful partnership. By working on these expectations and recognizing the steps we are taking to get closer to our goals, our business relationship can thrive. Know your worth before you head into a meeting or negotiation and ask questions that highlight your worth, experience, accomplishments and qualifications. Research has shown that women negotiate better in community settings, so if you find yourself struggling, imagine yourself advocating for a qualified and respected colleague.
Angelica Terrazas
CEO and Founder of Launch LA; Los Angeles
I've always considered myself a great negotiator in the corporate world, but when I took the leap to start my own entertainment business and started working on my first licensing deal, I I collapsed. Everything that worked for me in my career suddenly made me feel insecure. I felt like I was missing the cushion and muscle of my corporate job.
Here are three things I learned about negotiating as a business owner versus a senior vice president:
Maintain a cold confidence. In negotiations, especially in entertainment, people can smell fear and they will use it to their advantage. Be clear about your unique value proposition and agree with not landing it. No deal will make or break your career, but you can definitely make the wrong deal.
Know your numbers. I can't stress this enough. Run a thorough cost analysis of the business so you have a clear and defined playing field to stay within. Convey this eloquently. This takes the emotion out of trading numbers. If you can't make it work, know that it's time to move on.
Trade like you sell. But in this case, you are selling why someone has to work with you, give you this offer, etc. You have to find the why, and you can do it using one of three tactics:
Rarity:"If you can't match this price, I'll have to move on to another vendor that can." »
Selling the dream:“We are about to do a huge contract next year that will double our income. That small discount per unit isn't going to break the bank, but imagine what your commission will be like when you double that in six months. »
Let them sell you:“Your [product or service] is great, but solving problems X and Y in our business is my priority. The best negotiations happen when the other party is trying to "win you over." Let them make suggestions and soon enough you will find that they will suggest exactly what you were looking for.
Related: 15 Trading Tips From People Who Always Get Their Way
This article originally appeared in the Summer 2019 issue of LadiesBelle I/O magazine.
