Revealing the wrong aspects of yourself at work can have a devastating effect on your career. In this article, originally published at LinkedIn Pulse, Dr. Travis Bradberry explains how to navigate this difficult landscape.
You can't build a strong professional network if you don't open up to your colleagues, but it's hard because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.
Sharing the good stuff of yourself the right way is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can end up being obvious in hindsight.
The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that line because once you share something, it doesn't. there's more to come back.
TalentSmart has tested over a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performers are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90 percent of top performers, to be exact). Emotionally intelligent people are good at reading others, and it shows them what they should and shouldn't turn out at work.
Related: Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed
The following list contains the 12 most common things people reveal that steer their careers in the wrong direction:
1. That they hate their job.
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how they hate their job. It marks you as a negative person who is not a team player. This attitude lowers the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch up with opponents who lower morale, and they know there are always eager replacements waiting just around the corner.
2. That they think someone is incompetent.
There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and everyone probably knows who they are. If you don't have the power to help them improve or fire them, then you have nothing to gain by airing their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague's incompetence comes across as an unsafe attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your colleagues' negative opinions of you.
3. How much money they make.
Your parents might like to know all about how much you take in each month, but in the workplace, that just feeds negativity. It's impossible to allocate salaries fairly, and revealing yours gives your colleagues a direct measure of comparison. As soon as everyone knows how much you earn, everything you do at work is considered relative to your income. It's tempting to swap salaries with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you'll never see each other the same way again.
4. Their political and religious beliefs.
People's political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identity to be discussed without incident at work. Disagreeing with someone else's opinions can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone's core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.
Of course, different people treat politics and religion differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Even popping a hot world event without asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.
People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs, and giving them your two cents is risky. Be prepared to listen to others without introducing anything from your side, because all it takes is a disapproving look to trigger conflict. Political opinions and religious beliefs run so deep in people that challenging their opinions is more likely to get you judged than to change your mind.
5. What they do on Facebook.
The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs into her Facebook account is pictures of you snapping tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you wear, who you are with, what you do, or even comments from your friends. It's the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in the minds of your boss or co-workers just when they're about to give you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.
It's too hard to try to censor yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble and don't add them to your friends. Make LinkedIn your professional “social” network and save Facebook for everyone.
6. What they do in the bedroom.
Whether your sex life is out of this world or completely absent, this information has no place at work. Such comments may get a chuckle out of some people, but it makes them more uncomfortable and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.
7. What they think someone else is doing in the bedroom.
A good 111% of the people you work with don't want to know you're betting it's tigers in the bag. There's no more surefire way to scare someone off than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain. Everything from speculating on a co-worker's sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, "Oh, to be a newlywed again," plants a permanent seed in the brains of everyone who hears it throwing at you. in a negative light.
Your thoughts belong to you. Think about whatever you think is right about people; keep it to yourself.
8. That they are looking for someone else's job.
Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with the interests of others comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and to the company as a whole. Good employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves. Whatever your real motives (some of us just work for the money), announcing your selfish purpose will not help you achieve it.
9. How wild they were in middle school.
Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something amazing or stupid 20 years ago doesn't mean people are going to believe you've developed impeccable judgment since then. Behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fellowship shows everyone you work with that when the strain hits, you have poor judgment and don't know where to draw the line. Many presidents have been elected despite their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of managers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you need to keep your unsavory past to yourself.
10. How much they like to get drunk.
You might think that talking about how drunk you are over the weekend has no effect on how you are perceived at work. After all, if you're a good worker, then you're a good worker, right? Unfortunately no. Sharing this won't make people think you're funny. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature, and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative opinions about drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you enjoy indulging in them.
11. An offensive joke.
Offensive jokes make others feel terrible and make you look terrible. They also happen to be a lot less funny than smart jokes. A joke crosses the line every time you try to gauge its relevance based on how close you are to someone. If there is anyone who would be offended by your joke, you better not say so. You never know who people know or what experiences they've had in life that may cause your joke to advance on topics they take very seriously.
12. That they are looking for a job.
When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach that I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself on the bench. It's even worse after those two weeks I decided to stay, and I became "the kid who doesn't even want to be here." I was crushed, but it was my fault; I told her my decision before she was certain.
The same thing happens when you tell people you're looking for a job. Once you reveal that you plan to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone's time. It is also possible that your search will not be successful. It is therefore best to wait until you have found a job before talking to anyone. Otherwise, you'll end up getting benched.
Let me know what you think of this list. Do you disagree with any of these? Did I miss any? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn as much from you as you do from me.
Related: Say These 14 Things To Get You Fired
