If you are a leader, you not only have the power to strengthen your own relationships, but also to foster a work environment that values, rather than hinders, social investment.
For example, when new new recruits come into an organization, leaders can take the time to introduce them to everyone, even — and especially — people in other departments they don't work with directly. In fact, why stop there; Existing employees should also do everything they can to meet other people in the most remote corners of the organization. That's why some companies have long-term employees who spend a day learning the ropes of a different department. After all, the more likely employees are to meet, the more likely they are to form quality relationships.
To be even more effective, introductions should go beyond just name, department, and job description.
So if you're in a leadership position in your company, simply introducing two employees who don't know each other is probably the easiest and quickest way to invest in social dividends. To be even more effective, introductions should go beyond just name, department, and job description. Mike Morrison, vice president and dean of Toyota University, likes to ask employees, "What's on the other side of your card?" In other words, the front of your business card might read "Chief Executive," but you might better identify with "great thinker" or "educator" or "calm under fire." This kind of information – or even a few simple details like where a person lives, what their favorite hobby is – cuts through the paperwork to get to a more meaningful place, and it can more immediately and effectively link two people.
Related: How to Build Great Relationships
It's important to note that building strong social capital doesn't require that all co-workers become best friends or even that everyone loves each other all the time – that would be impossible. But what matters is that there is mutual respect and authenticity. Forcing employees into awkward icebreakers or forced bonding activities, like getting everyone in a meeting to share something about their private life, only breeds disconnection and mistrust. Better for these moments to happen organically – which will happen if the environment is right. The best leaders give their employees the space and time to allow moments of social connection to develop. So the more physical spaces available to commune publicly, the better. When a CEO of a company saw that some of the best social relationships — people laughing, swapping stories about their weekends, delineating each other — took place in the stairwells, he actually expanded the stairs and installed coffee machines on the landings to encourage this practice.
Time for team lunches and after-hours socializing is also crucial. Even the boring classic meeting, says Jane Dutton, can be designed to foster high-quality connections. Meeting practices that encourage member contribution and active listening promote group engagement. One of the best CEOs I know makes his meetings phone-free, so all eyes are on each other at all times. He is an example of a leader that Dutton would describe as "relationally attentive." The more attentive we are to the relational dynamics of our teams, the better.
Related: Titles Don't Make Leaders – But These 7 Actions Do
If our goal is to foster team cohesion, the language we use matters. We can promote social connection at work simply by using language that implies common purpose and interdependence. Dutton also recommends that we work on being present, both physically and mentally. This means that when someone walks into your office to speak, don't stare at your computer screen. When someone calls you on the phone, don't keep typing that email. An accountant once told me that the minute he heard a clicking keypad on the other end of the call, he knew his boss was disengaged. Forging a connection requires active listening, giving someone your full attention and also allowing them to have their say. As Dutton explains, “many people listen as if they are waiting for an opportunity to make their point.” Instead, focus on the speaker and their opinion, then ask interested questions to learn more.
The best way to bond more at work is to get out from behind the desk.
The leaders most committed to social investment are also moving, literally. The best way to bond more at work is to get out from behind the desk. This idea of “managing on the go” was popularized in the 1980s by leadership expert Tom Peters, who learned the practice from Hewlett-Packard leaders. (Peters even gave it an acronym – MBWA) to signify its importance.
Related: Dr. Henry Cloud:The Most Important Part of Success is Connection
Connecting with face-to-face employees also provides a perfect opportunity to practice frequent recognition and feedback. Providing specific and genuine praise for a job well done also strengthens the bond between two people. That's why I often ask managers to write a praise or thank you email to a friend, family member, or colleague every morning before they start their workday — not only because it helps their own happiness, but because it quite literally cements a relationship. Whether it's for years of emotional support or a day of help at the office, expressions of gratitude at work have been proven to strengthen personal and professional bonds.
In fact, studies have shown that gratitude triggers an upward spiral of relational growth where each individual feels motivated to strengthen the bond. It also predicts feelings of integration and cooperation within a larger group, which means that the more an employee expresses gratitude towards another employee, the more social cohesion they feel within the whole team. In other words, gratitude can fuel your own identity as a “glue guy.”
Related: What kind of leader are you? A fixer, a fighter or a friend?
This article originally appeared in the August 2017 issue of SUCCESS magazine.
