Not being a mother for a while. Many of us recognize the need to have a piece for ourselves, and that's okay. What interests me is the woman behind the mother. What does she do for herself? This time the story of Fien, who works in the prison system.
When I pass the metal detector in the morning, another world opens up. I am locked in an ancient building, along with 100s of male inmates. There is a very special subculture within these walls, which I don't think outsiders will ever fully understand.
Russian, Surinamese, Arabic and a dozen other languages can be heard blaring through the corridors. So many different cultures and personalities. And yet they all have one thing in common:they were convicted for something.
The majority are very frustrated by the functioning of the judicial system and especially by the consequences that this entails for themselves and these frustrations often affect my colleagues and myself. In the beginning I was overwhelmed by this, but in the meantime I let them down for fifteen minutes and I acknowledge their frustration, but at the same time point out to them that they wouldn't have had to be here if they hadn't clubbed their neighbour, say. That usually calms things down. Of course you can't just say that to everyone and an individual approach is required, taking into account the personality and cognitive capacities of the person in question.
I love my job, but sometimes it's hard. When I have to delve into a file in which offenses were committed against children, for example. Fortunately, I gradually discovered a 'button' in myself through which I somehow manage to separate my feelings about the facts and the person who committed them in a conversation.
This is the only way I can do my job in a professional manner. Unfortunately, there is already too much burned into my retina. Once I even became physically ill when I saw a horrific photo and I cried at my desk. Fortunately, there are my colleagues I can turn to at moments like this.
Read also: I want to work and my child wonders why
What I do like is to have a conversation with a 'textbook' narcissist or psychopath. Very interesting thinking patterns then emerge. Not exactly the most pro-social, but that's why they are right in front of my desk of course. In short, I have a very exciting, but often tiring job.
And because of all the misery I am confronted with, be it the nature of the crimes or the sad past of the detainees themselves, I enter the shelter every day tired but super happy, because then it is time to forget everything for a while and just being a mommy to my 2 little rascals.
