Before I became a mother, I often thought about what kind of mother I wanted to be. Of course a good mother, who has an eye for her children and family. But also a working mother, because my job is so much fun and life is so expensive. I definitely didn't want to be a mother who wouldn't do anything. And I would continue to exercise. What would certainly not suffer under motherhood was my social life and the things I do in my spare time. Nope. I was going to do it my way and create authentic motherhood for myself.
But then baby #1 was born. And two years later baby #2. A lot has changed in the meantime. Especially in the way I could organize and spend my time. Especially after the birth of baby #2. And at the same time, there are all those other mothers who also shape their lives. Some have one, others have four children. And nobody does it the same way. Everyone fills their lives differently.
There are those where it is possible to go to the gym twice a week and have 1000 social activities a month. But there are also a lot of mothers who don't do any of this. While they may want to to a certain extent, but just can't. Maybe for financial reasons. Or just lack of energy. Or because they set priorities differently. Who's to say? Everyone does it in their own way. Right?
Anyway, what I've learned since becoming a mother is that authentic motherhood is the most difficult thing to do. Authentic means reliable, credible and real. And especially the last one, the real one, is such a tricky one. In this context, of authentic, it actually means doing it as you really are. As you really want it. And that you are faithful to it. True to yourself. Without tricks.
Around me I see many mothers with the same struggle. How do you make sure that you are a good mother to your kids and that you are also good for yourself? Without pursuing something that is impossible for you or comparing yourself to others? Or by doing something that doesn't really suit you? Because if you have to believe the internet, anything is possible and there are many extremes. Don't we make it much more difficult for ourselves?
In any case, I've stopped looking at how others are doing it. I don't want to be rushed by all kinds of pictures of mothers doing things differently, regardless of what I think of what they do. I have decided to keep asking myself five questions and to plan my life accordingly. So that I stay close to myself and my family. So that I can give everyone what is needed. Do you want to know which questions these are? Read along and take advantage of it!
Being authentic, I find nothing more beautiful than that. I think this is going to help me stay close to myself and be more authentic. This is how authentic motherhood comes to me 'by itself'. I hope my kids will be too. That they are not guided by what others think or do, but become as they are intended.
