Have you ever asked yourself, "What should I do with my life?" » It can be daunting to make big changes in your life, like finding a new job or changing careers. And when you're already busy, tense and overloaded, it seems frankly impossible! Stacy Kim, Founder of Life Junctions Coaching Practices and author of “The Lighthouse Method” – the Lighthouse Method – explains why smart women tend to be more stuck at a certain point in their careers. She shares concrete steps to start on a new path and prepare for possible pitfalls.
People often tend to get stuck when it comes to changing their lifestyle, because they believe it is necessary to follow the “pre-planned” method . They analyze all the options, set goals and create a perfect, very thoughtful plan. And it can be effective in overcoming difficulties. Nevertheless, many life events and career trajectories rarely have clear paths. If you don't know where you're going, it's hard to create a map. This leaves its place to chance!
Plus, since smart women (often) do things right, people rely on them, and they have to juggle multiple responsibilities at work and take care of their families at the same time. They put others first and don't have time to focus on themselves. This can cause them to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, which makes it harder to jump into something new. The same is true for men.
In “The Lighthouse Method” , Dr. Stacy Kim describes how she and many clients have discovered effective ways to unblock and stimulate themselves. This method is an allegory for finding a new path. Imagine that you are standing on a river bank at night. All you are able to see is a light in the distance, coming from a lighthouse. “The Lighthouse Method” calls on you to ditch the cards, aim for the lighthouse, and row. It consists of five strategies:
1/ Lose the card. If you don't know where the lighthouse is, you can't draw the map to stop analyzing, planning your actions and setting goals. So just dive in!
2/ Less pain, more benefits. Don't row upstream, row with the current. The idea of this strategy is to do things that bring you joy, and build on what is going well. It means trying to let go of whatever is hurting you, as well as finding what you want to accomplish. It is also finding the time to enjoy, to play, to relax. Doing more of the activities you enjoy will bring enjoyment to your daily life and give you clues to your hidden talents.
3/ Bigger is not better. There is no need to dive deep all at once. Start by just dipping your feet in the water. For example, take small steps like making contacts or tracking your progress. Baby steps are much better than wide leaps that aren't taken seriously.
4/ Take your eyes off the reward. Don't try to figure out what the lighthouse looks like when you reach it – focus on the oars, on every arm movement. When we focus or stop just on the lighthouse, it creates stress and confines creativity.
5/ Giving up can be a good thing. You row, and start to see things differently. You can decide to change headlights, and take a different path. You may realize that your situation at work isn't all that bad after you introduce more enjoyable activities outside of work. Let go of the anchors, let go of your old ideas and belief systems. Success can be defined in many ways, and there are many paths to get there.
Source:http://www.businessinsider.com/why-smart-women-get-stuck-at-work-2015-6?utm_content=bufferc7886&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&IR=T
