Human connection is an essential element of personal and professional success. I've spent my entire life building relationships in and out of the office to improve my mental and emotional health, not to mention keep myself from bearing the brunt of the tough stuff.
Case in point:In the late 2000s, my toy store start-up was teetering on the brink of
closure. My co-founder and I were in over our heads. But instead of burying our
heads in the sand, we exposed our souls and our books to the team we had assembled. Much to our relief,
our employees weren't running for the hills. Instead, they took on the challenge of picking up our business off the ground. In two years, we all celebrated being named one of the Inc. Fastest growing
in the United States. This achievement would never have happened without a heckuva lot of genuine relationships forged on trust and honesty.
My experience is supported by the words of Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author. At the request of The Aspen Times On the importance of having a network to turn to, Dr. Bryson explains:"How we make decisions, how our whole frontal lobe works - it's related to the quality of the connections we receive. . In other words, we cannot fully function without friends.
Yes, it can be notoriously difficult to find the time to cultivate friendships in adulthood. But I urge you to try. You don't have to become best friends with everyone you know. However, you must be prepared to show some vulnerability and openness.
Here's how to start connecting today:
You will
never meet anyone while sitting at your desk all day. Walk out the door and find
the gathering place where the co-workers are chatting. Getting to know everyone on an
informal level brings you into new realms of influence and provides
perspective. Plus, you'll be the first rather than the last to know what's
happening because you don't seem elusive or walled-in.
Work
in the C-suite? Above all, you need to make time for cooler conversations.
Alison Gutterman, President and CEO of Jelmar, has made small talk a habit by
stopping regularly for a few informal moments with people on it
team. “Not only is this open communication between my employees and me,
it also satisfies our collective need for human connection and meaningful
conversation,” says Gutterman.
You've
ever heard of "me" time scheduling. Now I ask you to add some "we"
times to the mix. In this situation, the “we” is friends and family. Literally
block time in your schedule for everything from your community center
weekly basketball pickup game to your lunches with an awesome old boss.
Treat these dates as sacred and try not to cancel or reschedule them once
meet your jam-packed schedule.
If you think this is initially a sacrifice of private moments, remember that this is important for long-term gains. As Founder Contributor Jonathan Chan points out, “Start treating your personal life as if it were a job and your family as if they were valued customers. And when you're in every situation, be there. Your full presence (without a phone in hand) shows that you appreciate the other person.
For
the next week, practice a helping mantra whenever you can. Don't wait
for someone to ask for help:when you see someone in need, act. After all,
you will need the favor returned at some point, and the more karma you have accumulated, the more likely it is to come back to you. You'll be amazed at how many friends
and colleagues will come to your aid in your hardest times when you
have been there for theirs.
Also, it's just appropriate and respectful to do the right thing, even if someone doesn't immediately do the same. Yeah, it's hard to be nice to the clumsy accounting newbie snubbing you in the elevator. But maybe she's socially awkward, and your smile is what she needs to slowly come out of her shell. Truly caring teachers often hear from struggling students decades later who say their compassion was essential. Being selfless in the moment can cause generations of positive ripples in the future.
Do you feel like you're behind the eight ball in the friendship game? You cannot edit the history. Fortunately, you can change here and now. Host breakfast with a teammate or host a dinner party for friends you haven't seen in a while. You can only get stronger in every possible way when you power your network.
