To be effective in our discipline (teach, not punish), we must be tactful. Often How we say things are as important as what we say.
Related: 10 Traits of an Effective Teacher
This issue will focus on the art of discipline.
In his book The Wood:A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court with Steve Jamison, Coach Wooden recounts an episode where he had to discipline his great Pan Am center Bill Walton.
“There was a rule against facial hair for players on UCLA basketball teams. One day, Bill Walton came to train after a 10-day break with a beard. I asked him, 'Bill, did you miss anything?'
"He said, 'Coach, if you mean the beard, I think I should be allowed to wear it. It's my right.'
"I asked, 'Do you firmly believe in this? He replied, “Yeah, I think so, Coach. A lot.’
“I looked at him and said politely, ‘Bill, I have great respect for people who stand up for the things they believe in. I really do. And the team will miss you. “
“Bill went to the locker room and shaved his beard before practice started. There was no hard feelings. I wasn't mad and he wasn't mad. The key rule of effective discipline that Coach Wooden followed was that he did not attack Bill's character or intent. He only dealt with his action.
Related: 8 Key Elements of a Good Working Relationship
If an employee has a lateness problem, it's ineffective to say, “You've been late three times in the last two weeks. It's so irresponsible. Don't you even care about your job? That would attack character and intent.
Discipline that uses shame, guilt, or fear weakens people. A discipline that uses reason teaches and improves them.
A more effective approach would be, “You've been late three times in the past two weeks. I know you don't mean to be late; however, our business requires you to be on time for work. What is the cause of this situation? When we use this approach, we focus on action and leave character and intent alone.
Discipline that uses shame, guilt, or fear weakens people. A discipline that uses reason teaches and improves them.
The following is an essay that Coach Wooden wrote titled "How to Avoid Grievances".
There is a definite art to criticizing others . If you want your review to yield positive results, follow these rules:
Get all the facts. Only then are you ready to assess the situation fairly. The best way to get a man to give you the facts is to ask, "What happened?" It boils down to everything that went wrong rather than who is to blame.
Keep calm. You will create a climate of “let’s find a solution together”, in which you ally with the comrade against the common enemy – a mistake. He will respond in kind.
Criticize privately. Test after test has proven that this outperforms public criticism.
Praise before you criticize and follow up with "a pat on the back". In this way, you take the sting out of what is to follow. You give the assurance that you still have a lot of respect for the person you criticize. And you subtly suggest acknowledging his error as a simple deviation from the norm – his usual high-caliber performance. In short, you are helping him “save face.”
Keep your criticism constructive. The purpose of criticism is to teach better ways. Work with the other fellow to find out what happened and point out ways to prevent the mistake from happening again. It's positive, focused criticism – the only one that gets lasting results.
Related: How to set a good example
