It's hard enough to be a woman in the competitive – and still male – world of newspapers and the increasingly important digital world of news. Worse, how about becoming a novelist when you're well past the age to start such a crazy new chore, and when all logic dictates that it's just best to stick to what you know, not take this chance, stay safe, and maybe refrain from making an ass out of yourself?
Live it.
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I spent most of my adult life ignoring people who thought they could make my dreams come true. But it is okay. I can take a punch. My choice as a young woman was to learn to take a punch and pick myself up and fight harder, or lay down and let the world pass me by.
Being a Powerful Woman who wants to leave more than a beautiful corpse means leaving a legacy of what you have done. It takes more than a pink hat; it takes having the ability to speak up when you know it's not the best thing for your career, but it's the best thing for your life and the world around you. This means never letting the men in your workplace think they can disrespect you or get the better of you. They can't if you don't let them. Period.
Seek your own truth. You know it's there if you dare to dig it. Oh, and don't take shit from anybody. Especially men.
Leaving a powerful legacy means fighting the real fear of making changes not just in the world, but in yourself in order to have an impact, whether within your own family, your sphere of work or the world. whole. It means refusing to believe the hype and the hipsters who think they know it all – and who know what's best for you, little girl.
When my daughter was 2 years old, my then husband announced that he was no longer interested in getting married. Oh. He needed space. My mom said that meant he had a side dish somewhere there.
It was rough, yes, but my mom was only telling the truth. She was usually right, as was the case in this case. So she told me to stop crying, get off my ass and make a life for me and my daughter.
Her legacy was powerful indeed:seek your own truth. You know it's there if you dare to dig it. Oh, and don't take shit from anybody. Especially men.
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So there I was, a new single mother of a 2 year old, living in a blue-collar suburb with just as much luck living out my dream of working in a newsroom and write novels too, like they told me I had . It would be – what? – heck, zero, forget it sister.
I was also wrestling with the disgusting myth that is still pervasive, that children of single mothers always turn out bad. Again, screw that.
Without child support – or any financial help – I started out taking a public relations job in town. This meant that a large portion of my salary would go towards childcare and travel, but overall if I didn't take it, I would never earn the kind of salary that would lead to a comfortable life for my baby and me. Still, I made sure I would get home by 6 p.m. every night. I didn't go out much because I had to be home for my daughter. I also never abused her dad because, heck, I knew I would cherish those weekends when he took her – and I could be an adult and go on dates.
But most of the time, I never said it wrong because it wasn't fair. What kind of legacy would that be? I wanted my daughter to have a strong and healthy relationship with her father. It wasn't about me; it was about her. Women who use their children as pawns end up with unhappy children in unhappy homes. Eventually I got a job at a magazine and became an editor at Elle, then Cosmopolitan. In a year or two, I managed to work my way into a newspaper, Newsday , and fulfilled my dream of being a columnist.
I came from the finest world of PR and women's magazines, and here I found myself in the world of sexist men who were street fighters and drunkards .
Even a war-hardened, hard-drinking, brilliant columnist can be put in his place if you're a strong woman.
I liked it.
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My first big challenge to my place in the newsroom came from a world famous columnist/drunk who hung me up at the copier. Yes, the copier. He said, "Tell me Stasi, why would a woman give you a blowjob in the evening without using your toothbrush in the morning?"
Instead of running to HR, I just pushed him away from me and said - loudly - "If you smelled your breath, you'd rather give yourself one than use your toothbrush." . Now get lost.
The whole newsroom burst out laughing and he never bothered me again. Even a war-hardened, hard-drinking, brilliant columnist can be put in his place if you're a strong woman.
Oh, and my baby girl I told you about? The one who would end up failing to live with a single mother?
I hope my legacy will be as strong as my mother's:find your truth and, oh, take no shit from anyone.
She graduated cum laude from Wellesley College and was named last year by Inc. magazine as CEO of the best place to work in America (Arkadium) because of his humanity. Forbes calls her the woman who isn't afraid to stand up to Putin for single-handedly rescuing and relocating dozens of Ukrainian Arkadium employees when Russia invaded.
What about me? I continue to confront the wicked - in government and everywhere else - and have written my second novel, Book of Judas, which got raves.
Well, the more things change, the more they don't change.
When I wrote my first novel, two years ago, The Sixth Station, the editors said that I shouldn't have written a book with a 42-year-old protagonist, because after all, women that age can't have adventures. No, I swear.
I'm much older than that, and to write the book, I traveled through just six countries, went on a road trip with a Vatican exorcist priest, and climbed a mountain twice in France. For Book of Judas , I descended into a 3,000 year old burial cave in Israel.
I hope my legacy will be as strong as my mother's:find your truth and, oh, take no shit from anyone.
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