Alliances are tricky. More difficult in real life than on Survivor , even.
Research has gone a long way to determine how and why we choose to depend on some people more than others. But the bottom line is this:humans naturally want to believe in each other. After all, we are social creatures. Without social interaction, we would not survive. It was true in the Stone Age and it's true now.
Related: A 4-step guide to finding your allies
So how do you find people who will help you develop and grow? It starts with developing your instincts. This process usually begins as a child. We learn the rules of social interaction on the playground:who is the bully? Who can we trust? Who only looks for himself?
But as we age and mature, this instinct is not so clear. Maybe the person you're suspicious of is very charismatic, and you don't see it right away. Maybe the shy person who doesn't talk much in meetings is actually someone who's willing to fight for you. The thing is, there are many shades of gray when it comes to people.
The truth is, you're just going to have to get burned a few times. This is how we learn. Keep interacting with new people. Learn from them. Develop your people skills.
Related: 15 Trust Building Practices for Leaders
This article originally appeared in the July 2017 issue of SUCCESS magazine.
