the
first fight was over the music. She wanted pop and hip-hop; I wanted classic. A
a few hours later, we argued over coffee. I drank too much, she
claimed. I don't drink enough, I shot back, practically insisting on the espresso
at breakneck speed. It was the first day with my new officer, otherwise known as
the wonderful woman I married long ago in November 2019.
Four months after tying the knot, my wife and I are trapped in a room. We get away from time to time (never underestimate the power of a good walk), but for the most part we wake up, do our thing, then retire for an evening of reading, TV and bit of relaxation that we can achieve in this age of increasing anxiety.
Its
took effort to establish this model, mainly because we have wildly
differing working styles. As a couple, we are compatible; we have The Newlywed Game
scores to prove it. As colleagues? Not so much.
I
get up early, brew my first cup of coffee, and settle in for a day of
pounding the keyboard, sweating out the details (in my defense, I'm a writer),
and investing emotionally in every sentence I weave. She sleeps, usually
waking up about an hour after me, then does a workout in the morning before tackling work
like an intermittent tornado. It moves from project to project with
what may seem like little to no latency, taking calls and completing tasks with
equal parts fierceness and composure. When it breaks, it cooks. Then, with my
attention diverted from the dashes to the blueberry muffins, she dives back into a
conference call with her colleagues.
Shortly after our feuds over caffeine and our Work From Home soundtrack, we decided to try and make the most of our co-working situation. At the end of each day, we both share a sticky note that highlights a good quality we witnessed during the 9-to-5 grind of that day. They keep us sane, and they gave me a roadmap on how to improve my work ethic, be more productive, and most importantly, relax a bit.
Here are some of the notes I shared with my new favorite mid-pandemic officer mate:
“I like your Zoom tag”
This
seems to not have much lifespan beyond quarantine, but as many of us
can now attest, Zoom meetings can be real tests of patience. And my wife's zoom
the label reveals more than patience; she agrees with Michael Dell's
advice too:Try never to be the
smartest person in the room. She never pretends to know all the answers and
takes every opportunity to ask questions. In meetings, she defers to the
experts and is eager to check with her other team members before making
requests. No one would blame her if the label was left out, because we are
all adjusting to living through a pandemic. But that's not how my officer
does business. She is patient and her patience has invigorated mine.
“I envy your efficiency”
I
don't take breaks. I switch between multiple projects at once.
And my eyes often fly from my Google Docs to News to Spotify. All
that is, the obvious:multitasking doesn't work. My wife takes plenty of
breaks (did I mention the muffins?), and while she likes to listen to music
while she works, she tends to choose a playlist and stick to it. She is a
master of efficiency, focusing on one task at a time, but taking a moment to
breathe when she needs it. His method taught me to be a better writer,
a better officer, and a much more caring husband.
"I admire your approach
Problem solving"
my
wife works in a profession where tough decisions have to be made, often
times a day. At every turn, she continues her collaboration, reaching out to
colleagues and newcomers. In isolation – and for the sake of the aforementioned
efficiency – it would often be easier for him to act as a
committee of one. But my officer goes to great lengths to offer seats at the
even though this table is virtual.
“I like your sense of humor
At first glance, there doesn't seem to be much to laugh about these days. The world outside the confines of our tiny apartment seems dark and dark, and the world inside our tiny apartment is often consumed by a multitasking caffeine demon. That doesn't stop my officer from looking for reasons to laugh. She finds humor in the everyday, often mundane acts of a day at work at home:the vagaries of a slide deck, the awkward icebreakers of a virtual team meeting, or the phone call to lunch with a friend. She knows that humor can provide refuge from a stressful day, and sharing a laugh with your co-workers can liven up even the darkest of days.
"I love the way you practice kindness
Every chance you get"
A reassuring word for an exhausted colleague. A good mark for a new member of the team. An impromptu, stress-reducing dance party in the middle of the kitchen-office. My new officer does all of this and more every day, all in a perpetual quest to make her team as happy as possible. With the possible exception of a dance party, kind acts are possible every day. They remind us that our colleagues are often much more than just colleagues and, in my case, remind me that I have probably the best office in the world.
