“Feminism has become obsolete!” I shouted to my mother as a rebellious teenager. “The emancipation of women is more or less complete.” I knew a lot. Recently, I, now a working mother of three, was reminded of my naive statement at the time. I had the opportunity to go abroad for five days to do research for writing touristic texts. After working from home for years, so that I was always there when the children came home or got sick, I thought that was quite a big step. But I also thought it was an opportunity that I had to seize – and could seize. Aren't men sometimes away from home for a few days for a business trip?
Apparently I am just as naive as I was when I was a teenager, because it turned out to be different. Not least with myself. Although I was really looking forward to this assignment, I also felt quite a bit of guilt. Should I do this as a wife and mother? Just abandon house and hearth? Apparently I was not as emancipated as I thought.
Fortunately, my dear husband, family and friends also thought that this trip was really something for me and that I had to go. Yet my preparation was different from that of the average man who has to go away for a few days for work. There was more to it than packing a suitcase. I carefully brought the news to the children and made phone lists, countdown calendars, and overviews of who would be home when I was away. I was regularly asked how I did that with my family, and what my husband thought of it. The trip was not seen as an assignment that I had won, but as a sweet trip that I was awarded. So much for the emancipation of women. How many men would get the same questions?
I have to admit, it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed seeing so much in a short period of time and converting those impressions into articles. I felt completely at home – just for a little while. Because of course I missed my husband and children and I loved coming home again.
There I heard that one of the children at school had cried because she missed me so much. That cut it. Shortly afterwards another trip presented itself. Together with my husband I then decided that going on a trip again immediately would be too much of a good thing. While under no circumstances would I say to him, "Tell your boss you can't, your family needs you!" All of this got me thinking about my own statements from years ago. Is the emancipation of women indeed more or less complete? Or is it okay for you – by yourself or those around you – as a woman to work, as long as you are home in time to put the food on the table? The discussion about equality between men and women continues…
Article submitted by Sandra van Bijsterveld
