The image of a wise leader permeates popular media, but actual managers, executives, and founders rarely know everything. In fact, people who claim to have all the answers end up fostering mistrust among their colleagues. Instead, successful leaders coach others by modeling vulnerability-based leadership. I vividly remember the first time I embraced vulnerability in leadership. I had just returned to Europe because I thought our office was about to close. We had lost several key players in a short period of time and despite remarkable growth over five years, the company was on shaky ground. During one of my first team discussions, I got choked up. Being emotional in front of a group of employees felt raw…foreign. But everyone saw my honesty and openness as strengths. They knew I wouldn't lie to them if things weren't right. And the business got better. Embedding Vulnerability and Leadership You might not like the idea of showing your emotional side. Reluctance to open up is normal, even among those who believe in the importance of vulnerability in leadership. Being open doesn't come naturally to everyone. Showing vulnerability requires a high degree of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and humility, so you'll need to be comfortable admitting your mistakes and depending on your teammates. But if you model this style of leadership, you will reap the benefits of an inspired and innovative workforce. Employees working for real accessible bosses feel empowered to explore creative solutions. They don't worry about whether their ideas are too big or too crazy because they've seen that it's okay to make mistakes. This freedom fuels incredible loyalty and production, which contributes to the company's overall vision and goals. Another benefit of leadership vulnerability is the psychological safety it promotes. In times of uncertainty or crisis, teams led by vulnerable leaders feel more grounded and able to cope. As Harvard professor Amy Edmondson points out, leaders who demonstrate appropriate candor cultivate work cultures in which employees don't compromise, people respectfully voice their opinions, and everyone belongs. In other words, vulnerable leadership encourages teams to think actively and participate because they know they are not replaceable cogs. Practicing the Art of Vulnerability-Based Leadership Want to know how to take advantage of the leadership vulnerability cycle? Follow these steps to nurture your emotional intelligence and give your organization an infusion of authenticity:1. Say what you feel, not what you think people want to hear. Has a recent setback scared you? Tell your team. It is likely that they feel the same. By admitting your anxiety, you put yourself on the same footing as your colleagues. Go on to say with determination, “This is how we are going to deal with our fear.” After that, everyone can brainstorm next steps together. For example, you can start a team crowdsourcing session that urges everyone to catastrophize, but only for a while. List the worst possible scenarios, then rate the likelihood of each calamity. Talking rationally about what is most likely to happen helps get people out of fight or flight mode. Remember, this exercise works best when you name the source of your discomfort and then follow it up with a plan of action. You don't need to have the answers; just be passionate, motivated and express your desire to move forward as a team. 2. Talk about yourself and the experiences that shaped you. Have you clung to the idea that your personal life is off limits to the team? Do not act mysteriously; talk about past challenges that have shaped you. For example, I skipped third grade and was bullied until I graduated from high school. The effect has been a lifelong struggle with low self-esteem. To this day, I still sometimes wonder because of what happened when I was 8 years old. Of course, I didn't wallow in my lack of confidence. I learn from my past and work on my own personal development. The point of opening up about your individual challenges and weaknesses isn't to make people feel sorry for you, it's to illustrate your humanity and show your team that growth takes time and some efforts. If the idea of spilling your heart makes you uncomfortable, start by mentioning what you do outside of work. You don't need to go into details, but it will help you open up from time to time. Try discussing self-improvement activities like taking guitar lessons or reading self-help books. Try to bring employees into the first circle of your inner circle. 3. Ask for help. Do you delegate? Be careful with your tongue. Saying "please do this" sounds different from "could you help me with this?" The first is a command, while the second invites participation and respects the capacities of the other. Although it seems like a small difference, changing your verbiage by asking, not demanding, for help changes the mindset of your colleagues. They will see their tasks as important and not as subordinate. Moreover, the leaders of tomorrow will emulate your vulnerable and sincere approach. In this sense, make sure that if you ask for help, you accept it with grace and thoughtfulness. Let's say you have a troublesome project that you can't figure out. Explain what you have done so far, then enlist the help of a teammate. They can bring a new perspective and more brains to the problem. When your colleague comes back with potential solutions, listen with legitimate interest and appreciation. Even if you can't use any of the solutions right away, you might be able to do so later. The importance of vulnerability in leadership cannot be overstated. You'll be amazed at how letting go without losing ground can reshape and re-energize your team. Krister Ungerböck + articles Krister Ungerböck is the founder of the global Talk SHIFT movement. He is a sought-after leadership communication speaker, award-winning CEO and author. He has been featured in national publications such as NPR, Forbes, Inc. and Entrepreneur for his fresh perspective on leadership, business growth, emotional intelligence and employee engagement. Talk SHIFT is a simple, powerful and practical change to our words that can transform frustrating communication at work and at home. Talk SHIFT adapts best practices from the world of relationship research to create great leaders – while applying the best ideas from the world of business leadership to create great families. Krister Ungerbock https://www.moyens.net/author/krister-ungerbock/ Question All
