I will stay at home with my children, is the title of the article in the Telegraaf. A young woman (want to be a stay at home mother) describes her childhood and the difficulties she experienced because her mother put her career above her family. A difficult story that drips with uncertainty and sadness.
The young woman's conclusion is simple. She's planned out her whole future and it's definitely going to be different from her mother's. She wants to work until she is 30, then would like to have (at least) 2 children. And stay home. She is going to be a stay at home mother. And when her youngest child goes back to school, she will go back to work for a maximum of 2 days and of course she will be home during the school holidays.
It all sounds ideal, and it is also nice if you have this image in your head and you can 'make it come true', but what if it turns out to be disappointing? The opportunity is, of course, quite present. Because how often does it happen that the woman in the house would rather not work, but has to work in order to make ends meet financially. Being a stay at home mother is not an option. Or what if you don't find the right partner, or you and your partner split up again after a few years.
I think it's good to have an ideal vision for the future. Having wishes is fine and you are right about having something to live for, to work on. But to immediately add a judgment that work and motherhood cannot be combined well… that goes a bit too far for me. She does not believe in women who indicate that their work makes them a nicer mother, and she doubts that their children feel the same way.
And I can only think…. girl girl, you still have a lot to learn. At 22 you are actually still a child and it is difficult to comprehend what the rest of life will bring you. Now I don't pretend to have all wisdom… but there is still a very gray area between being a stay-at-home mom and working full-time. And every child is different.
How nice can it be to exchange ideas with colleagues a few days a week and to develop yourself in the field of work? And how nice is it, for example, to do something extra with the money you earn that you might not be able to do otherwise financially?
Furthermore, I only see that the children like to meet up after school and that the majority of mothers return home without children, so you will have to drink that cup of tea as a stay-at-home mother on your own 🙂 .
Now it's easy for me to say. I work full time and am a stay at home mother at the same time 😉 . But I think it's good not to go to extremes. I don't think being always absent is pleasant for the children, but being always present may also make them miss certain experiences that will be important in the rest of your life.
What is your ideal image as a mother?
